How are you? (Of the real kind of how are you?)
Right now we're all probably feeling a bunch of things. Acknowledging the kaleidoscope of reactions to this pandemic has been important for me, allowing joy in the slow but also a healthy anxiety for safety but for my work too. Each one of us is also reacting differently and that's OK. Please reach out for support if you're struggling as I know being stuck inside is too much of a challenge for some. If you need support give Samaritians a call on 116 123.
I wanted to write a little update for you, but also for myself!! Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and it certainly feels nice to sit down now and give an update on what exactly is going on.
April & May were planned to be the biggest months for me. I had workshops lined up (of which I absolutely adore running), I had speaking events including a graduation ceremony, markets, the start of the community fridge to help with, family and friends visiting, planning one of my best friends hen party in Australia (I'm her maid of honour), keeping up with my Sustainable Development Masters and also moving 700km to Scotland!! It was hectic beyond what I am used to but also, what I am comfortable with. But I planned to push myself, to get better at being busy (something I actually hate).
The deepest part of me just wanted to "plant potatoes, live in peace and dream" (Moomin obsession) and I guess that deepest part of me got my wish!
Lock down came and all of the plans I made, vaporised. Trips cancelled, graduation ceremonies cancelled, my best friends wedding postponed, markets cancelled, we half moved to Scotland but I'm down South for lockdown, the community fridge is completely different, Lee went offshore and the cherry on the top was the incredibly hard masters module... So lock down turned into an intensely focussed time on my masters and the stark opposite to what was supposed to happen, with lots of family and friends staying etc. Now that module has finished I've taken a few weeks off to get on with home life.
But honestly, I have struggled a bit, I'm disappointed about the markets, I'm not sure when next I will attend one, so I have stock sat lonely. I am sad my workshops got cancelled, my speaking events didn't happen and other career opportunities. What I have been building organically has gone. But mostly, I am OK. I am absolutely adoring the slow, the garden, getting acquainted with my camera again, being mindful, less rushing.
This is something that I am certainly going to keep up beyond this time, less rushing. Less popping out, less FOMO. I have enjoyed slow mindful days at home.
The garden is coming along really well! My peas plants got their base nibbled the other day, but I think they'll be OK. Both me and my mum couldn't get the aubergine or pepper seeds to grow this year, so I have resorted to buying plants. The tomatoes are slow, but growing! This week I'm going to build a new veg patch (already built by time of publishing). I planted a herb garden about 20 years ago but it got lost into the farm weeds. Fingers crossed for this one!
Lots of walking! Now we have unrestricted walks, I'm doing a fair amount. Me and my best friend went on a socially distanced walk of over 21kms a few days ago!! Me and Lee walked to a local lake (how lucky are we) and had a lovely sunset picnic.
I'm loving using my camera again! Being again, more mindful with how I capture moments rather than snapping on my phone is really lovely.
I'm aiming(!) to keep up my background reading for the masters.
I'm doing some sewing, so far I seem to have gotten the hang of masks and I'm going to tinker with more!
The little duck egg that we rescued, tried to incubate and named Picnic unfortunately didn't make it. We are so gutted! Little picnic started to grow but developed a blood ring and Picnic stopped developing. We are really gutted, Lee half jokingly suggested buying a van and travelling the country with lil Picnic and I never loved him more!
Honeycomb pictured is from the farm hives, LUCKY!
Our move up to Scotland is absolutely completely up in the air. We are renting a place in Edinburgh and hope to get up there soon, but who knows. A great lesson in letting go!!
I am currently extremely excited about the possibility of UK travel. We had actually planned a UK holiday this year anyway, but now it's been set in stone for us. We will most likely go camping in Scotland (when we finally get up there!)
Again I sincerely hope you are OK, but also acknowledge it's ok not to be OK. But know, there is help for you xo