Tomorrow, we leave for a holiday in Bali.
I feel like we have been living the front line of Plastic. It's in the oceans, on the land and still used so rigoursly. We fight the wave of using plastic. We take longer in the supermarket, we have strange conversations, we avoid eating a lot of stuff we want and need.
We are living incredibly frugally, and in context of island life whilst working hard to bring forward the plastic problem.
And I struggled for a while with the guilt of beginning to feel tired and burnt out. The local people live here with cold bucket showers, fried chicken and rice. I don't really eat either of those things and naturally would just eat grains and vegetables. Plus the locals can't just "escape to Bali" when they have grown tired of island life.
But instead of feeling guilty and overly privileged I am converting this guilt into gratitude. I am very lucky to have grown up with hot water, drinking water on tap and delicious home cooked meals, and always having enough food. Having these luxuries mean that I could live beyond "survival". I had energy and the abilities to not just live, but thrive. To study, to think beyond where my next meal is coming from.
Feeling guilty that people here are much more in survival mode, does not help anyone. Feeling guilt over wanting rest and just a few days of plastic rest bite, doesn't help me to help anybody. Making myself sick in survival mode, eating a poor diet doesn't get the awareness done. Being pro active, caring for myself, taking a rest, helps me come back stronger.
Sure people are living in poor conditions and surviving everyday, but with poor food choices comes poor energy availability, less ability to think past surviving. I do not need to put myself in this position to alleviate guilt. I need to continue working to find solutions to help sustainable development. Solution based thinking.
So, as I go to Bali to eat as much vegan food as I can, to listen to silence, walk rice fields, meditate and just have the most nourishing time whilst also working digitally and meeting incredible people, I release guilt to allow myself to thrive.